01
Schedule Merchant
Ethan
+1.13 wins/season
The opponent draw added the most wins per season relative to weekly all-play scoring.
Actual wins minus all-play expected wins, divided by seasons.
96 regular-season games · Method
Annual bureau honors
The trophies
nobody asked for.
Twelve funny titles that keep the metric, sample, formula, and limitation visible enough to survive league-chat cross-examination.
2017–2025Regular-season comparisonsPublic-safe snapshot
Snapshot 2026-07-13T21:25:16-04:00Classified honors
The complete awards docket
Funny names. Serious denominators.
02
Cursed by the Schedule
Carter
-0.79 wins/season
The opponent draw removed the most wins per season relative to weekly all-play scoring.
Actual wins minus all-play expected wins, divided by seasons.
109 regular-season games · Method
03
Hindsight Lineup Capture
Chris
89.2%
Captured the largest qualified share of the roster's hindsight-optimal scoring ceiling.
Actual starter points divided by hindsight-optimal points; minimum 50 weeks.
122 regular-season lineups · Method
04
Bench Warrant
Carter
91.50 points
The largest single-week gap between actual starters and the hindsight-optimal legal lineup.
Regular season only; reserve-list players excluded.
2024 Week 14 · Method
05
Transaction Goblin
Justin
1,037 action groups
Recorded the most distinct add/drop action groups without double-counting multi-leg moves.
Add and Drop action groups; lineup logs, commissioner actions, and vetoes excluded.
Completed archive · Method
06
Sunday Tinkerer
Justin
3,396 log entries
Generated the most player-level lineup log entries.
Observed lineup log entries; not treated as exact swap counts.
Completed archive · Method
07
Blockbuster Broker
Eli
109 trades
Participated in the most completed trade action groups.
Each completed trade counts once per participating member; vetoes excluded.
Completed archive · Method
08
Diamond Hands
Nolan
17 weeks
Held one player for the longest continuous within-season run of weekly snapshots.
Player: A.J. Brown
Weekly ownership precision; offseason continuity is not inferred.
2022 weekly snapshots · Method
09
Draft Crush
Russell
5 drafts
Selected the same player in more drafts than any other boss-player pairing.
Player: Cooper Kupp
One selection per player, member, and season.
Distinct draft seasons · Method
10
Chaos Agent
Chris
24.02 pts
Owned the widest average within-season scoring swings among qualified careers.
Mean of season-level population standard deviations; minimum 50 weeks and four seasons.
122 weeks · Method
11
The Metronome
Baylor
18.95 pts
Produced the tightest average within-season scoring spread among qualified careers.
Mean of season-level population standard deviations; minimum 50 weeks and four seasons.
52 weeks · Method
12
Heartbreak Hotel
Eli
18 losses
Lost most often while still scoring in the top half of that week's league.
A heartbreak loss is a loss at or above the weekly median score.
122 regular-season weeks · Method
These are descriptive, not causal. No award claims to identify the “best manager.” Every title is a compact label for one observed archive metric. Audit the rules.